Why do fair maidens have a hard life and broken heart

There is a Chinese saying that mentioned, a pretty girl would face a life of hardship. They would have many suitors but their marriage often either end up in heartbreak and separation/divorce, or in the case of a loving relationship, their partner passed away prematurely. In other words, they seldom enjoy lasting love relationship unless both of them have similar and pious spiritual practice. This has certainly been true in a number of cases, including one of my dear mother.

In this article, I would discuss on the possible spiritual reasons of why this happens. This is something I do not see being discussed but when I express this with those who are traditional Chinese, they immediately understand because it was something that was told before long long time ago.

A typical example:

A girl born exceptionally fair with beautiful skin. From young, due to her beauty, she had many suitors who tried their best to charm her as they were enchanted by her beauty. Hence understandably she got involved in a romantic relationship quite early.

Somehow, the relationship ends in heartbreak and separation, ie through the presence of third party, abuse or unexpected early demise of their partner. Due to their beauty, they would then attract suitors but all subsequent relationships seemed not to last. Sometimes when they marry into a traditional family, somehow the fortune of the family changes from wealthy to losing everything…… and her in-laws attributed her to bringing bad luck and downfall to the family.

Often she had to work very hard in her life to earn a living. Around her, she has friends but few are true ones because they often got envious of her beauty and the attention that other boys are paying to her.

When she felt very alone, she would look up the sky at night or see the image of God, devas or guardians and felt especially comforted. Somehow there is a feeling that she is not alone, that somewhere above, someone felt her pain. But then, real life is real tough.

Why is that so?

I first kinda knew about this through a personal insight. But eventually I heard the late Master Lu speaking about this phenomenon (more in this article).

What I am about to say may not make sense to many but those who have olden Chinese elders may be able to relate to.

If a person has very unusual good looks, with fairer than usual skin, and body movements that is very graceful that were not being taught but came naturally, that person may have originally came from a higher realm, from the heavenly realms. For example, some people talk, walk or eat very gracefully even though they may have come from very rough or poor background and they had not been taught on this. This is because they retain some of the characteristics of their past existance.

The subsequent explanation is based on rebirth and karma.

Why would someone from heaven wanted to come down to this earth and endure suffering?

So far as I know, there are a few possible reasons:

A. They develop compassion and wanted to come down to help sentient beings
From above, when they see the suffering of these beings, they made the choice to come down with the intention to help as many beings as possible. When they do so, often they would bring along with them skills, talents or characteristics that would aid them in the mission they had promised they would do. These skills often are unearthly and exceptional, not something that can be found in an ordinary person. So we can say they are very talented.

Problem arise because the world we live in is also fill with temptations. Instead of using these talents to serve mankind, they use it for fame and fortune which eventually would bring into a downward spiral. Through not fulfilling their promise, and using up their reserves of good karma, while being tainted with the ways of the world, their souls get too heavy to be able to go back up to heaven.

Hence, sadly what started as a noble intention backfires as they could not resist the temptation of the flesh, sounds and tastes and got dragged down into the mud.

B. They are being offered a deal and also a chance to burn off their bad karma
Heavenly beings are born in heaven due to the good karma they have accumulated. Heaven is a realm with no suffering and bad events hence there bad kamma cannot ripen there. Only good kamma would continue to ripen and being used. One day, the good kamma or the store of merits would be used up. When that happens, the devas or heavenly being would then be reborn in the plane based on their kamma. If they have no good kamma left, sometimes they can be reborn in realms of animals instead of humans.

There are some beings who have cultivated spiritually before in past life and they were offered to come down to earth to serve, and/or accomplish certain important roles. At the same time, it is often accompanied with very hard life or constant illness as they also need to burn off as much bad kamma as possible. Through doing good deeds and burning off bad kamma, if they do their job well, after death they would return back to the heavenly realm.

Often they would accept the deal because if they do not accept it, soon they may end up at worse realms.

Problem arise again when they get born and because of their looks and beauty, they had many temptations that they fell to and eventually they did not accomplish what they had originally came to do. With hardship, sometimes they would reconnect back to their older spiritual energy and continue their cultivation and hence maintain the connection and protection.

But sometimes, if there is a little bad traits (hey no one is perfect) that is dormant within them, they may try their best to run from suffering and resort to all kinds of ways and shortcuts, including immoral ways of life. Or give in to the temptations of the world to earn a quick dishonest bucks using skills, talents or physical beauty that they have. This results to a downward spiral as their connection to the source gradually gets lost due to changes in spiritual vibration.

C. They are runaways, ie they escape from the realm without consent
This often is mischevious or curious ones who wanted to come down to experience life as a human. Maybe too much of good things above make them bored. So they escape down (it is said that they would escape down with thunderstorms) after eyeing at a suitable human to take birth in.

Because they were originally from higher realm, physically they may retain the qualities and mannerism from that realm. But sometimes, because what they did had broken spiritual laws, they would get hunted down (every realm have their own enforcement team). Due to that, they may sometimes be born with disabilities or mental abnormality. Or if they are born normal (physically and cognitively), they often suffer from nightmares of being chased and running for their life, life threatening illnesses and situations and tonnes of challenges in their life.

This is because they were not supposed to be there so they are kinda escaped convincts who needed to be captured and taken back for further ‘punishment’.

Sometimes it is a combination

Do note that sometimes this can be a combination between A, B and C above. For example, they have chosen to come down to take rebirth as a human because they got offered a deal due to their kamma is running out to remain in the higher realm (situation B), and they also agree willingly because of their compassion (situation A).

Or they may be an ‘escaped convict’ from that realm (situation C) but somewhere along the line they developed compassion and reestablished back their spiritual connection and hence that life becames a life to serve and also deepen their spiritual cultivation. This is so as often hardship would either drive a person to spiritual path or a downward spiral. Usually if they ended sacrificing themselves and making a positive impact to humanity,

Hardship and challenges in life

There was a very graceful Chinese lady I’ve met not long ago. Her physical complexion and mannerism is quite different from normal person. She has a natural grace in her movements, actions and the way she speaks or eats. She talked very gently. Even though a large part of her life is like a normal person, she find connection in spiritual practice.

I asked her if she had a tough love life. She looked at me in surprise and said yes. She is now caring for her daughter but is in a huge and very ugly situation created by her ex. I also asked her if she felt special connection, like at sad times somehow she felt comforted or not alone, she also said yes. And she said so far in life, even though she had to go through challenges, at times of dire need, someone would come along and really able to help her.

She felt drawn towards her own spiritual practice, which I strongly encourage her to continue so that she would not lose the connection. I’ve explained that the possibility she may have originated from a higher realm and may be here to either burn off bad kamma and/or accomplish a mission. Her eyes looked at me as if oh the penny had dropped and things finally made sense to her.

What if you are in that situation

If you have higher origins, you would often still feel the connection. This is something that only you would know and understand if you are in that situation. At times when you feel defeated and alone, somehow you know you are not alone and you kinda feel love and comforted.

Most important, you must not let go of your spiritual cultivation. If you feel called to any spiritual practice (it should be one of the old school ones of established religions), then go back to it. If you are starting or picking up after a long hiatus….Start small….. dedicate a specific time in a day, maybe early in the morning to meet a minimum practice criteria that you set for yourself.

Let’s say you set a minimum criteria to chant X number of times or Y minutes in a day….. make sure you fulfil those minimum criteria you set for yourself. Begining do not set lofty targets as you may often not be able to do it.  If life do happen and you could not do it on a particular day, then make sure you do not go without the practice for more than two consecutive days.

With time, you would feel a stronger connection and deeper faith, and more inner peace. You can then decide to increase the level of practice to more gradually. Till one day, it would become automatic within.

You would find that life would make more sense. And despite hardships, you develop resillience and build stronger inner strength. Also hardship and suffering may bring out the compassion in your heart that you are now able to empthasize with the suffering and pain of others. Eventually you would find that whatever life throws at you, you are no longer afraid because you know that there would be a home that you would go back to after your time on earth is up.

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